You can be "straightforward" without being a jerk
Are you a “blunt” communicator?
Newsflash: you can be straightforward without being a jerk. 👀
As a formerly very blunt communicator, I’m here to tell you: being blunt is not usually a strength.
Most of us have the best intentions when we communicate, and sometimes we still wind up upsetting the people we’re talking to.
“That wasn’t my intention.”
“They took it the wrong way.”
“What? I’m just being honest.”
“No offense, but…”
“Being blunt is just the way I am.”
If you’re a leader, or aspiring leader, you have the responsibility to communicate in an honest AND kind manner.
…and all of the phrases I listed above excuse you from that responsibility.
Here’s how I’ve learned to be a kinder communicator:
1. Learn people’s communication preferences.
At Accelity, every new employee fills out the following:
How I like getting feedback
When I say/do X, it means…
My communication style and how to relate
This makes delivering kind feedback a much simpler task, because you know how to help the receiver hear you. And that leads to #2…
2. Stop treating communication like a task on a list.
Delivering a hard message, or holding a conversation that might not be easy for either party, is not something you quickly check off a list.
I have definitely done this. In fact, I put something I had to communicate on my Todoist task list yesterday. But, the difference between the past and now is that this time I:
Considered how important it was to deliver the message (what is the impact of saying something versus not?)
Read through the receiver’s communication preferences
Asked for permission to deliver feedback
Had a coworker read through the written part of this communication before sending
3. Ask people what your communication sounds like to them.
I’ve learned that I can be a “scary communicator” over Slack—and I’m usually not even thinking about it.
Firing off quick responses without re-reading, saying things like “Question…” then typing for a long time (guilty), and responding when unhappy about something are all a recipe for an asynchronous communication disaster.
Breathe. Re-read. Ask the recipient how they interpret your message and adjust accordingly.
^ I am still reminding myself of this one constantly!
Remember: clear is kind.
And feedback is a gift… when appropriately delivered.
#personaldevelopment #communication